


Gil Deals With It

by NevillesGran



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Heroic Couplet, Poetry, Remix of Canon Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 14:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4879903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NevillesGran/pseuds/NevillesGran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An excerpt from The Epic of Gilgamesh (Wulfenbach Remix), a poem that doesn’t actually exist other than the following - but clearly SHOULD. And is definitely written by a Mechanicsburger because idk that just sort of snuck in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gil Deals With It

**Author's Note:**

> We were practicing heroic couplets in class and, um...

The royal army loomed upon the plain,  
The Knights of Jove, Mechanicsburg’s old bane.  
Their war-clanks shone; their weapons fully-armed.  
Within the town arose a great alarm.  
Defenses down, the air itself was thick  
With fear and doom, and something almost…slick.  
It seemed that we might face our final fate—  
But then a lone defender slipped the gate.  
His cloak was night, yet sun shone in his hair;  
His eyes blazed with a spark that few could bear,  
A golden sigil glinted from his fleece—  
A tower, winged: Defender of the Peace.  
His head held high, his boots they smote the earth;  
He strode forth, valiant, to prove his worth,  
And in his face there was naught but disdain  
For these fine lords who’d test his Empire’s reign.  
“Surrendering already?” joked one foe.  
Who only saw the young man was alone,  
Sans even some great weapon at his side.  
“What is your business here?” our hero cried.  
The royal general spoke: "From afar“  
“I come, Lord Selnikov of House Valois,  
Commander of the force here gathering  
To take Mechanicsburg for our true king.  
Cooperate, or there will be a fight!”  
Our brave defender scoffed, as was quite right—  
When had Mechanicsburg e’er lowered blaster  
But for a rightful Heterodyne master?  
Our hero set to straighten out this louse.  
“ _My_ name is _Gilgamesh_ , the son of Klaus,  
The Baron Wulfenbach who rules on high.  
I’ll say this once: **_leave now_** _or you will **die!**_ ”  
Some laughed, but Selnikov, he wasn’t slow—  
“The _son_ of—shoot him!” he called. “Shoot him _now!_ ”  
(The Baron, wounded, watched from hospital,  
His heart high in his throat for his young Gil,  
While on the crowded walls, our Het’rodyne  
Let forth a gasp, because she had divined  
Her lover’s clever ploy to save her town.  
The generators which would serve to ground…)  
Though bullets flew, the hero simply yawned.  
“Time’s up!” he yelled, and aimed his glass-tipped wand,  
And, with a glare to awe all madboys past,  
Called down a _motherfucking_ ****_lightning blast._  
The skies, once clear, broke with a screaming **crack**  
As if the gods themselves were on the rack.  
Smoke filled the air like deadly thundercloud  
But not a wisp could gather in a shroud  
To hide the piercing, burning, blinding blaze  
That arced forth from Gil’s wand. The end of days  
Itself seemed nigh—indeed, for some, it was:  
The foremost clank, with bold Lord Selnikov  
Came crashing down, a great metallic beast  
Slain expertly by jägers for the feast.  
The lightning ricocheted in gleeful dance,  
Left all eyes smarting at the slightest glance.  
And there, amid the sparks and burning wreck,  
Our hero stood, wand raised, and called, “Who’s next?”  
“Not us!” cried one, its chassis singed to black.  
Another: “We surrender! Don’t attack!”  
A third fired. “ ** _Right_** ,” snarled the Baron’s heir,  
And sent bright death once more through cracking air.  
His midnight cloak was torn, winged tower dulled  
By ash and etc. debris from those he’d culled.  
His eyes ablaze with more’n reflected flame,  
To all Europa watching, he made claim:  
“This is no trick! I got no lucky roll!  
My name is **_Gilgamesh of Wulfenbach  
_**_And **I** AM IN **CONTROL!** ”_

 


End file.
